18 Thoughts While Watching The Premiere of Imposters
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18 Thoughts While Watching The Premiere of Imposters

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Natalia Buia

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February 9, 2017

1. Okay, Imposters. Let's do this! It says this show is co-created by Paul Adelstein. I loved him in Private Practice and Grilfriend’s Guide to Divorce. I’m in!

2. I wonder if this is a fun comedy. I'm really in the mood to laugh tonight. 


3. Nevermind.

4. Now there’s love scene to the tune of Etta James’  “At Last”. The producers probably had to flip a coin between this or Marvine Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On”. 

5. Just what a girl needs after having sex: an ankle bracelet. This show must be set in the early ‘90s. Nowadays the only gift we women want after a night of love making is a cold glass of water and the tv turned on so we can watch The Late Show. AM I RIGHT?! 

6. At work, Ezra’s brother tells the cute coworker Gaby – in front of Ezra! – “do not seduce my brother.” Girl is so going to seduce Ezra and I. Am. Here. For. It.

7. Ezra's entire office building has glass walls. Where’s the privacy? What if I want to pick my nose or take a nap on the floor?!

8. Uh-oh, Ezra’s credit cards get declined when he’s trying to buy his foreign wife the same exact cocker spaniel that Charlotte got in Sex and the City. This guy needs to understand the importance of more practical gifts like cash. 


9. Ezra tries to hit the ATM and lives out every college graduate’s reality: INSUFFICIENT FUNDS! Welcome to the club, Ezra. We meet once a week in an alley. Mainly because we can’t afford to go inside Starbucks. 

10. Now it looks like Ezra’s wife Ava totally bolted out of that marriage. Maybe she couldn’t handle all his dumb presents. She didn’t leave without writing down a website on the fridge in presumably blood. Blood or MAC’s Russian Red lipstick. 


11.Can things get any weirder? Ava assumes the new identity as super chill cool girl Maddie and runs into Josh at the airport where they strike up some heavy flirtation. It’s super hot, like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct kind of hot. Minus the scandalous leg crossing, of course.  

12. Once Josh puts two and two together and figures out Maddie is actually Ava (it’s that ugly ankle bracelet’s fault!) he gets mauled by an old man. I can’t help but assume this is not the position he wanted Ava to leave him in:


13. The scene where Maddie/Ava is in her hotel room and receives a call from her boss must be another flashback scene. There’s no way a girl in 2017 who just stole a million dollars from her husband would have a flip phone. 

14. 40 minutes into this show and, yep, Gaby is seducing Josh already. Where can I collect my door prize?

15. Even after making out with Gaby, Ezra still wants to end his life. Yikes, that must really burn Gaby.  While he’s tying ropes around his neck, an FBI agent shows up at the door. He looks oddly familiar….


16. If Brad Smith/Parker isn’t a real FBI agent, how did he know about Ezra? And how did he find out where he lives? And how did he know he’d be home during the day? And how can I hire him to stalk all my ex-boyfriends?  SO MANY QUESTIONS.

17. This Joe Shmoe guy they go see with the facial recognition software is GOOD. Takes him 5 minutes to find a match on Maddie/Ava. Meanwhile, it takes me 7 hours just to update my iOS. Someone give him a crime show. He could solve, like, 10 murders in an hour. 

18. THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD I HAVE TO ALL CAPS THIS, KANYE STYLE!!! I can't wait for episode 2, February 14 at 10 E/P

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imposters
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